By Moose Flanagan | Pigskin Press Sports
Well, folks, the Dallas Cowboys are doing it again. And by “it,” I mean absolutely nothing of value in free agency. In an offseason where teams around the league are wheeling and dealing, throwing money around like a Vegas high roller, Jerry Jones and Co. are sitting back with a bucket of popcorn and enjoying the show—without ever buying a ticket.
Let’s be honest: after finishing 7-10 in 2024, the Cowboys need to make some serious moves. They have holes on the offensive line, a defense that bent like a cheap lawn chair, and a quarterback situation that made Cowboys fans long for the days of Tony Romo (yes, it’s gotten that bad). So naturally, you’d expect them to make a splash in free agency, right?
Wrong.
The Long Snapper Power Move
That’s right, folks. While other teams have been busy, the Cowboys scouted the open market and decided, you know what this team really needs? Extend our long snapper.
His name? Trent Sieg.
Never heard of him? Neither has anyone outside of his immediate family. But congratulations to Trent, who now holds the honor of being Dallas’ most exciting offseason “move”—a title previously held by the janitor who upgraded the paper towel dispensers in the locker room.
Cowboys fans were hoping for an elite pass rusher, a solid offensive lineman, maybe a competent second cornerback. Instead, they got a guy whose main responsibility is to deliver a football backwards in a straight line. Game-changer.
At this point, Jerry Jones might as well sign a new waterboy and call it a “high-value addition.”
Javonte Williams, Because… Why Not?
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, the Cowboys went out and signed former Broncos running back Javonte Williams, whose knees have seen more damage than a rental car after spring break.
Williams once showed promise, but after multiple injuries and a few seasons of running into his own offensive linemen, he was left wandering free agency like a lost puppy. Naturally, Jerry Jones swooped in and threw a few million at him, seemingly unaware that running behind this offensive line might actually make his situation worse.
You’d think after watching Rico Dowdle struggle behind this abysmal blocking unit, Dallas would prioritize upgrading the line first. Nope! Instead, they replaced Dowdle with a guy who’s been rehabbing longer than he’s been productive. What’s next, a call to DeMarco Murray to see if he still has gas in the tank?
The Big Move That Wasn’t
Instead of making an aggressive play for a true difference-maker, Dallas’ biggest accomplishment so far was re-signing defensive tackle Osa Odighizuwa to a four-year, $80 million deal. Now, don’t get me wrong—Osa is a solid player. But when your biggest offseason move is retaining a guy from a defense that got torched all year, you’re basically saying, “Let’s run it back and see if we suck a little less.”
Meanwhile, teams around them have been busy. The Eagles extended Saquon Barkley, the Seahawks landed a new quarterback, the Rams brought in Davante Adams, and even the Jets found a way to get Justin Fields to sign on the dotted line. And Dallas? They let key contributors walk and didn’t bother replacing them.
The Offensive Line? Still Offensive
Remember when the Cowboys had the best offensive line in football? Those days are long gone. The unit has more holes than a block of Swiss cheese, but rather than investing in a high-profile free agent, Jerry Jones is apparently deciding that duct tape and nostalgia would do the trick. The only lineman they brought in was a former practice squad player from the CFL (okay, I made that up, but it feels real).
Micah Parsons is Wondering What’s Going On
Let’s take a moment to acknowledge Micah Parsons, who must be watching this offseason unfold while fighting the urge to demand a trade. Parsons has done everything short of suiting up on offense to keep this team competitive, and what does Dallas do? Nothing to help him. No dominant pass rusher to take pressure off him, no secondary reinforcement, and no reason to believe this defense won’t be running on fumes again by Week 8.
Jerry’s Plan: Hope and Vibes
Jerry Jones insists the Cowboys are still “America’s Team,” but the only thing they’re leading the league in right now is missed opportunities. The official offseason strategy appears to be:
• Let key players leave
• Sign a random depth guy for $4 million
• Hope Dak Prescott becomes 2023 Dak again
• Pretend this team is still a contender
If that’s the plan, then congrats, Cowboys—you’re executing it flawlessly.
What’s Next? More Disappointment
With the way things are going, don’t be surprised if Dallas’ next big move is bringing in a washed-up veteran with “experience” (translation: someone who last played meaningful football three years ago). Maybe Jerry will announce that he’s personally taking over play-calling duties, or better yet, they’ll just start promoting the 2026 draft before this season even starts.
At this point, the only way Dallas is making it to the Super Bowl is if Jerry Jones buys a ticket. But hey, at least they’ll have perfect long snaps on the extra points they won’t be kicking because they’ll be down by 20 every game.
Cowboys fans, you deserve better. But until that day comes, I’ll be here, watching and laughing.
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