NOLA- Zion Williams, the man that defies physics. A man many like to make the butt of the joke becaue he has a big ol ass, yet he may be the chillest athlete to ever live. We've watched him grow up before our very eyes and we couldn’t be more proud of the man he's become.
We were first intorduced to Zion when he was just a high flying high schooler. With an abolsutely insane mixtape of a young specimen destorying rims and truly looking like a man amongst boys. Imagine having to gurad Zion and going to an Algebra class all in the same day.
After making headlines for being a highschool human highlight reel, Zion took his talents to Duke university to play for legandary Coach K. America couldn't wait to see how we played at the next level. In college Zion averaged 22 points, 9 rebounds and 2 assit all while spending most of his time at the food court and banging co-eds. Duke definitely had themselves a little devil on campus. Freaky little devil. The rich elite had turned our sweet angel into a sexual deviant. Badass for Zion.
Once Zion joined the NBA, his pockets and waitline blew up. At his heaviest Zion was 330 pounds. Shit brick house as some would say. Even at this weight he was flying, something Luka could only dream of. While he's been injured on the court off the court is where Zion has been an absolute all-star.
In 2023 it was revealed that Zion had been nailing adult film star Moriah Mills, nice. As time went on Zion has been "shooting his shot" at large breasted ring girl Sydney Thomas, blonde from the Tyson/Paul shit show. Sydnety Thomas, nice. While Zion is hitting on all these women he was also hitting famed southern Louisiana buffet "Jumbo Buffet" 4 times a week.
While some fans are angry that Zion spends more time in buffets and the girls in the beaver movies than on a basketball court, I think it's actually bad ass! Imagine getting paid millions to be fat fucker. He is literally fat and fucks. #Goals. At the end of the day he is still an NBA palyer and last month he dropped 50. Could this guy surpass LeBron if he cared? Absolutelybut he doesn't and that's why we love him. Show up, ball out a little bit, then go back to being a fat guy who bangs porn stars. Zion we salute you!
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